Do you think animals ever go “fuck my life?” I think that’s probably all they think about other than food.
SO THIS GUY WAS TRYING TO HIT ON THIS GIRL IN MY CLASS TODAY AND THIS HAPPENED
Posted on May 15, 2013 with 170,821 notes x reblog this
- Douche: hey
- Nice girl:
- Douche: HEY
- Nice girl: what?
- Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick
- Nice girl: excuse me?
- Douche: yeah, it should say choking hazard lol *hi fives bros*
- Nice girl: isn't that a label they put on small objects?
Things I Say While Driving
Posted on May 15, 2013 with 258,002 notes x reblog this
- Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
- Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
- Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going the speed limit. Why.
- Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
- Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
- Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
- Me: /dinosaur screams/
- Me: THE LIGHT IS GREEN. QUIT HOLDIN YOUR DICK AND GO!
- Boy: spell me
- Girl: M-E
- Boy: you forgot the D
- Girl: there's no D in me.
- Boy: not yet